Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Are you an idiot?

I feel like this is a question that many people should take up and ask them selves...
Before you start a random conversation with a random person whom you never in life conversed with you should take a Snickers or a Twix break and ask your self "self are you an idiot" If you don't get back to your self immediately chances are you a huge idiot and should refrain from conversing with individuals whom may or may not have more intellectual strength than you...
Now that I got that out of the way...

  • If you see me talking on the phone why do you feel the need to ask "are you on the phone"
  • If you ask me for a dollar everyday that you see me going to work and everyday I say no why would you think I would give you $5?
  • Assumptions are for Asses... (its in the word)
  • I know it may be amazing, new, and exciting... but people please for the love of our lord and savor Michale Jackson... stop asking me how tall I am... and stop acting in disbelife when I tell you I am 6'2.5 I been this height since I was like 12... yes I said 12 you nimrod I would know my height... Better yet stop freaking asking already... I get asked how tall I am everyday... but total strangers... everyday... everyday... everyday... can you spell REDUNDANT??
and on that note
No men you can not beat me in ball
No you may not take a picture of my legs
No you may not touch my legs
No I will not play on your shitty nameless team
No I will not dunk on you
No I can not dunk
Yes I am from an island
That island is named Manhattan
Manhattan is between Brooklyn and New Jersey
No I am not being a smart ass
Oh when you asked me what island I was from I chose the answer that suited the question best.
No I am not Jamaican
My mother was born on Manhattan island as well
No I am not from the "Tropics"
Yes I wear heels
No I will not strip at your club
Yes I can dance
Yes I walk with my head held high
Yes I sit up and stand straight

Well have you asked your self this question today?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Broken Freaking Finger

So with the luck of the luckiest I broke my freaking finger on the the handle hinge on my lawn mower... (NOT THE BLADE but the FREAKING HANDLE HINGE) Compound fracture at its most beautiful and glorious. Lawd yes... bone was not only broken it was sticking out from under my nail well I will save you all the beauty of my finger at it grossest but I will show you my lovely X-rays...
They are beautiful